Words & Actions

February 23, 2009 | No comments yet

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By:  Staci Stallings

Think for just a moment about the people you really trust.  I don’t mean those that you tolerate or that you associate with.  I mean those you really, REALLY trust.

I want you to think of the reason that you trust that person.

Now, trust is different from love, especially if love to you is just a feeling and not rooted in something deeper.  It’s true that there are people who “love” someone else but do not trust them. (How they do it is beyond me, but I’ve seen it, so I’m not going to question their sincerity.)  So, for a moment separate in your head those you truly trust with those you “merely” love.

Got it?


Now I want you to think for a moment about WHY you trust that person.  I don’t want, “Well, they did such and such for me.”  Think deeper.  Think across the board.

Why do you trust that person? How do you know you can count on them no matter what?

I believe deep trust comes from one root cause:  Their words and actions are in complete and total sync.

If they say they will be there at two, they WILL be there at two.  Every time.  Without exception.  Unless the planet stops spinning.

If they say, “I’ll take care of it.”  You don’t have to lay awake at night, wondering and worrying if maybe you should step in and do it for them because you know that last time they said they would and then at the last minute…

Now, for a moment, I want you to think not just of those who would be there or who would get the job done, but those you truly trust with your heart.  That person or group of people that you can really share YOU with, no holds barred, no fear of what they will say or who they will say it to.

Do you have someone like that?

I hope you do.  I’m VERY fortunate to have several people like that.

I know there are people out there who bemoan the fact that they don’t.  They have been let down and shellacked more times than they want to think about.  They don’t know who to trust or how to trust.  It’s a sad way to live.

The other day a very good friend of mine, who I’ve ironically never met said something interesting to me.  We were talking about being real with each other and how nice it is to be able to pick up the keyboard and just let it all out.  She said, “I really like what you had to say about being real with each other. The thing that is so fundamental in being ‘real’ is having someone who lets you be (or sometimes forces you to be).”

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Upon reflection, I think what she’s saying is, “You showed me how to do that by letting me be real with you first.”  And I think that may be the exact reason I have so many people I trust.  I don’t regard life as some kind of a game that we get to the end of having won or lost.  I regard it as the privilege of making connections.  Really deep connections start not by trusting another person, but by being someone they can trust.  Every time.  No matter what.

To be someone that they can trust, your actions must follow your words.  Not when it’s convenient.  Not when you feel like it.  But every, single time.  Tired.  Sick.  Hurting. It doesn’t matter.  You either are someone others can count on, or you’re not.

The question for today is:   Are you?

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