by: Staci Stallings
Last time I talked about your “default” when things go wrong — that emotion you go to automatically when something doesn’t go your way. Maybe it’s anger, frustration, jealousy, hurt, overwhelm, giving up… or maybe it’s looking for a new solution, breathing, or actively putting it in God’s hands.
Today, I want you to think about your default. Is it something that moves you forward? Makes you a better person? Inspires others?
Or is it something you are ashamed about? Feel guilty for? Or would like to change?
If it is the latter, then let’s take a short look at how to change your default. In the coming weeks we will talk more in-depth about types of defaults and resetting them, but for now, let’s hit this idea briefly…
First of all, you have to realize that unlike MS Word, resetting your default almost never sticks the first time. It is as if, each time you open a new document, you have to manually reset the default all over again for this new situation. That’s okay. You are not defective and worthless because you don’t get it right the first time…. or the sixth time… or the hundredth time.
I want you, instead, to think of “getting it right” in terms of 10′s. So out of the first ten times you do this, maybe you go to default 9 of them and one time out of ten, you accomplish your reset. Fab. In the next ten, try for 3 of those times.
I remember when I first got with the Holy Spirit, I would remember to thank Him (not my default setting at the time) for something really good and cool that came into my life. And then I would realize that I had forgotten to thank Him for the last several.
However, I kept after it, actively looking for small ways He had done something amazing and thanking Him for it. Within a few months, being grateful for even very small things had become my default. So much so that friends of mine would comment that they would never have thought to thank God for that.
Once I read about how many times it takes of doing something right before it becomes habit. The lesson was about swinging a baseball bat, but it applies here as well.
Would you like to take a guess how many times you have to swing a bat correctly for that to be your default swing?
A hundred times?
A thousand times?
Would you be shocked if I told you that to correct your previously bad default swing, you have to swing the bat correctly… 1,500 times?!!!
That’s a LOT of getting it right, and very probably a lot of times getting it wrong in the practicing.
So don’t think this is going to be an easy thing, but trust me, it IS worth it!
Want your default to be not worrying? Then 1,500 times, you will have to practice praying and being grateful instead.
Want your default to be patience in the face of tough situations? Then you will have to exhibit patience 1,500 times in the face of difficulty for that to become your “new normal.”
For me, one of my defaults was overwhelm and giving up in the face of adversity. If I was faced with something I knew was going to be nearly impossible for me, I would often just skirt around doing it at all.
I have since learned a new default on things I am called to do that I don’t feel qualified to do. My new default goes like this: I can’t, but God can… if I will let Him. And then I breathe and trust that God knows what He’s doing and I just have to take the steps He’s asking me to take and it will be done the way He wants it to be done.
But it took me a long time and a lot of concentrated effort to get that default reset. It IS possible. And it can literally change your life if you let it.
So, now, what default do you want to change? What is the manual setting you’re going to have to use when that situation comes up?
Write it down. Post it where you can see it, and start practicing.
You will be amazed at the results.