by: Staci Stallings
Now I don’t know why this happens, but I want you to be prepared for it because when it happens, it can be downright dis-spiriting.
It goes like this:
You’ve been sowing God Seeds and things have been going very well. One person that you’ve put God time and effort into is starting to really get it. They are moving ahead, taking great leaps of faith, and then all of a sudden BAM!
It’s like you slam into a wall going full speed.
Again, I don’t know why this happens, but I can assure you, it does and it will.
First, understand that this is normal. It is not something you did. In many ways, it’s almost like peeling an onion a layer at a time and then suddenly hitting a layer that just doesn’t want to move.
I think for the most part what is happening is that the person has gotten down to a layer they didn’t think you–or anyone–could reach. It’s a layer they’ve protected for a long time, and a layer they are terrified to see underneath.
Let me tell you “the wall” is going to take a LOT of patience and love on your part because most of the time, defense of the wall comes out as an attack against you. Suddenly the person will pull away or act hurt or angry at something you’ve done (or not done). This is not about what you did or didn’t do. This is a passive-aggressive way to tell you to “back off.”
Our problem is, often we are dealing with our own hurts and places in our Spirit Gardens that need weeded, and this rejection can really blindside us.
The best thing I have learned in this situation is to back up. Don’t pursue! Don’t get desperate to find out what you did. Don’t attack back.
Just breathe and back off. Be patient. Go to God. Talk to Him about your own hurt over the situation. Pray for the person by putting them in the Holy Spirit’s hands over and over–every time you think about them.
Walls take an unbelievable amount of patience and unconditional love–more maybe than you even feel you have to give. That’s okay. Remember, “I can’t but God can, and He will… if I let Him”? Well, now’s the time to use that in spades!
When you see the person, smile, make small talk if they seem willing. Don’t push. Let them come to you.
It may take a very long time (and that time will seem even longer to you!). That’s okay. You and God have an eternity to convince them that you’re really serious about loving them even when they are being quite unlovable.
Stand in love. Just stand, believing in God’s love for you and for them. And you will be amazed at the walls that will eventually fall at your feet.
So very true and well said! It is a huge topic that has not really been addressed as much as it could be. It is hard to not want to finish a work the Lord has called you to start in the people He brings to you for ministry. That has always been my hardest lesson. We are not the one who can finish what God builds but we are all gifted in participation in the process. Sometimes we are only to fix a broken pipe or a leak and move on. It’s all part of Gods plan to better both us and those we are a part of helping! Thank you for you and your boldness for God!
Thank you staci I know this will help me with my dghtr
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