Welcome!

Emotional Triggers: Hurtful Words

Default thumbnail.
Send to Kindle

by: Staci Stallings

Words are powerful.

One of the funniest memes in recent memory is when someone says, “I don’t think that means what you think it means.”

As a writer, I trade in words.  I make my living from words. I do not take words lightly.  They are incredibly important.

The other day a writer friend of mine called me, and this is how she started the conversation, “I’m really sorry to call, but I’ve been working on this sentence for 20 minutes, and I can’t seem to get it right.”

And then we proceeded to work another 10 minutes… on that one sentence!

My children do vocabulary every week in English, so they are constantly learning new words they’ve never encountered before.  There is a young man at our parish who is here to study English, and he says all the time, “Tell me if I don’t say something right because if you don’t correct me, I think it’s right.”  And, of course, one of the first words he had to learn after moving here was “y’all.”  Some things cannot be avoided.

There are two sides to hurtful words. The first side is being the hearer or receiver of those words.  I won’t lie to you, it’s tough.  It just is.

When you hear hurtful words hurled at you, somewhere inside of you, defaults are going to start pinging.  True, it depends who says them and in what context as to which defaults it trips, but I’ll give you a few examples, and you can feel in your body what defaults are going off…

You are late to a meeting, and you walk in and the boss says, “Well, it’s about time.”

You come in after a hard day of work, and your husband says, “I thought you were going to pick up something for supper.” (That one flips all kinds of switches for me!)

Your neighbor calls and says, “Are you planning to keep my mower? I know I let you borrow it, but the word was borrow, not keep!”

Your friend says, “Who do you think  you are?”

Someone in traffic says, “What, do you think you own the street?”

Someone calls to tell you a bill has not been paid.

A family member says you totally messed something up because…

Most of these are mild compared with hurtful words we encounter every day.  Name calling, putting you down, calling your work or your worth into question.

We all experience these types of emotional triggers every day.

List Price: $15.99
Current Price: $14.25
Buy Now
Price Disclaimer

So what defaults do you hit when these happen?  Anger? Hurt? Worry? Anxiety?

Do you seek to fight back with words of your own?  Or do they make you curl up and slink into the corner?

Words do hurt. There is just no getting around that.  But I content that if we examine our defaults, we can minimize the damage by selecting to think things like:

That says more about them than it says about me.

or

Wow. They must really be hurting to say something like that.

or

Hope that made you feel better because it sure deflated the rest of us.

How do you react to hurtful words?

 

Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, we will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, we only recommend products or services we believe will add value to our readers.

Read More

Emotional Triggers: Relationships with Those in Authority

Default thumbnail.

by:  Staci Stallings Here’s a topic sure to make some of you have a rise in blood pressure.  What emotional triggers do you experience around those in authority? I’m talking about bosses, supervisors, police, even clergy and government workers. Are you calm as can be when one of these people start pushing your…

Read More

Emotional Triggers: Relationships, Close

Default thumbnail.

by:  Staci Stallings One of the things that constantly amazes me is how different people are and how alike they are. My children are a great example of this. All three are quite determined, organized, and hard-working.  All three care deeply about their friends and others in the societal circles.  All three LOVE…

Read More

Books

“Staci’s books are Christian fiction at its best!” If you are looking for ebooks to fill your Amazon Kindle or…

Learn More

Best Sellers

If you’re looking for the Best of the Best, here they are… The Amazon Best Seller’s List Click on a…

Learn More

Newest Releases

Just released… February 2013 Eternity Aaron Foster thought he had the perfect life until his fiancee walked out of their…

Learn More

Romance

“It doesn’t get more romantic than this…” “Incredibly addicting…” “Awesome!” Find out what Romance Readers are raving about… Click on…

Learn More